Jean Ralphio- Dance Up On Me!

Dedicated to the man that I wish I had around me every minute of everyday... though I wouldn't actually want to be friends with him.

Bragging is my Greatest Accomplishment

I won a caption contest... again!

Here is the sitch.  I love television.  There are some really crappy shows out there and there are some fabulous ones.  SO when I get an opportunity to write about a show I love I take it.  Like the caption contest above.  Or the other caption contest I won a few months back.  Now out of context both may seem odd, crass, maybe even stupid.  But if you watch the shows you have to agree, I basically nailed it.

So on the eve of receiving this wonderous news that I won a caption contest, I was also told that I will now be a part-time tv blogger for http://www.gossip-girl-episodes.com/ and http://www.greys-anatomy-episodes.com/  I get to dish my opinions about Gossip Girl and Grey's Anatomy into cyber space!  On a really (not really) legit blog about television.  Shootin for the stars people.

The point is that I get to write, something to put on a resume because this blog does not count.  So in a few weeks, if you're bored and you enjoy GG or GA check out my writing skillzz.

And before bros, churros

So I tricked myself into eating eggs this week.  It gives me hope to do this, for my future family's sake.  If I can scramble some eggs into fried rice then I can honestly tell my children that they must also eat eggs.  This is assuming that they get my genes and hate the smell, taste and texture of eggs.





I got really sick on Wednesday, I actually blacked out in the middle of class and I'm sure I looked comical when my head slammed down on my desk. Who doesn't appreciate a good laugh now and then? I do.  I giggled when I came around because I had about 5 people that I didn't know hovering around me.  "Pleaseee don't call the hospital, I just forgot to eat this morning"  Though I'm not sure I would have minded if they sent firefighters in to carry me out.  In hindsight, bad decision.  ALWAYS play damsel in distress if it means being carried out by a fireman.  Learned that one from Modern Family.


So I wonder if this is a normal thing or just a fluke, but you would assume when you go to the doctors that people that work there would be sympathetic.  I mean if I'm at the doctors, obviously I have some sort of sickness or injury and I'm not at my best.  But one of the ladies at the counter told me very condesendinly that I was 15 minutes late.  To which i replied "Oh ya well I threw up as I was walking out the door so... ya know".  That seemed to shut her up.


Communal laundry rooms can be awkward, like when you get on the elevator and suddenly the most important thing in the world is what level your on at that exact moment.  Well laundry rooms are more awkward, because you can ignore each other but you can't ignore the fact that the girl is pulling out grandma panties and a training bra even though we are in college and how is that even physically possible?  Anyways,  someone eased the tension this past laundry trip.  I take half credit because if I did not have the ensemble I had on this conversation never would have taken place:
Guy: Watermelon pajamas AND watermelon painted toes?

Me (thinking to myself this guy is way to observative and I really should not wear my pjs anywhere but my room) Um ya
Guy: I assume you like watermelons
Me: Actually no, not my favorite fruit but they sure are cute!
Guy: Good point
Me: ( a tad late on this but...) you know what they say about assuming
Guy laughs
I walk out not sure if I am pleased or just feeling awkward


And sometimes I just make mistakes, and I'm not sure if it's okay or not.  Like when I took my pain medication and then said my prayers and was a little loopy.  Now tell me straight up, is it blasphemy to say this: "and thank you for the drugs i've been given"....... "wow sorry"  ???
Awaiting my punishment for that one


Hilarious facebook mistakes
I wanted to pick just one from this website but honestly... they were all pretty amazing

Unfortunately I'm not in contact with any of the guys that made fun of me when I was little. Probably cause I beat them all up

yup

It's like my heart is trying to hug my brain!

That title, stolen from my favorite show of all time (bold claim but you'll understand in a moment), 30 Rock.  Because Tina Fey is the best thing that has ever happened to me.  Anyways, back to the title, used in a mass text to close friends, was how I described the feeling of having a Red Bull first thing in the morning.  Hey, those Red Bull girls were driving by the bus stop at 8 in the morning and asked if we wanted some.  First of all, I had to question why I didn't have that job.  Then two hours later realized that would be detrimental to my health based on my legs pumping up in down for 6 hours of classes, along with what I can only assume were symptoms of ADD: short attention span, thinking of several different things at one time and a distinct feeling that my heart was trying to hug my brain because it was just pumping really loudly like it needed extra attention.

How I feel when I drink Red Bull

However, we can't stop at just Red Bull for the reason for this title.  I feel like it's my thesis statement for this past week.  Oh man I have been writing so many different papers every week for school everything is related to english classes in life.  Like one big metaphor. AAHHH stopping now.


So I got to go to Northern California again because I just can't get enough of that place I guess.  HA, ok it's not terrible but I went for the sake of my brother's first football game of the season and even though Kaulin had been hurt he looked sooo good in his uniform out on that field.  And my brother Kameron, HE GOT TO PLAY AND HE HIT A GUY REALLY HARD AND GOT A FOUL FOR IT I DON'T UNDERSTAND FOOTBALL BUT DID YOU SEE IT?!! So aahhhmazing.

How to top off this weekend of football and seeing my family who of course just randomly showed up, it's how my family rolls and also seeing my lovely sister-in-law?  Well, this one will throw you for a loop.  Because instead of partying hard core like I always do (my sarcasm is off the hook right now), I got to go to an amazing fellas baptism Monday night.  This fella I speak of is of course, Brian Schwenke, who usually only goes by his last name mostly cause it's super duper fun to say.  He plays for the Cal Bears as well and is the biggest, baddest and sweetest guy out on the field.  (Careful though, his dry sarcasm bites).

numero 57... That guy he is blocking is not going anywhere

Now my brother Kameron texted me about 3 days before the baptism to tell me I am giving one of the talks... on baptism.  This is where we now tie in the heart hugging the brain thesis statement.  I haven't spoken to a crowd in this type of setting for over 2 years.  I mean I get a little flustered with friends if I start to tell a story and realize more then 4 people are looking at me.  Now the fate of Schwenke's baptism mood is rested on me.  Well at least that's what I convinced myself of.

oh false, I did make a quick announcement at the wedding to a large crowd but I'm positive I stuttered and stared at the light straight ahead of me

The night before we had a pre-birthday party for Kaulin since his birthday was the week after we left.  Princess-themed.


Brenn of course was lovely and forced us all to say 3 things we love about Kaulin which added up to 24 things, because he is turning 24.  Well of course Schwenke was a part of it and as everyone cried shamelessly, Brian held strong and informed us that he has not cried in about 8 years.  He was a tough cookie to crack.  (By the way, this information is foreshadowing). OH MY GOSH it's like literary tourettes!


Well, Monday night comes along, I put on my mom's best skirt and her new sweater, do some breathing exercises and think of anything besides the talk I have to give.  Not the best idea, I really should have practiced it.  Any how, we get to the church house, everyone sits down and we start to have a lovely opening.  Then the big moment comes.  No, not the actual baptism but my talk.  Boy, oh boy was I nervous.  It went pretty well though.  I mustered up a serious voice with only a slight tremble.  And I said what I needed to say, and sat down sweating bullets with my face on fire.


The big moment came and Schwenke got in that font with Kameron, and they both did it like they were rock stars.  But you know, in a really calm, sweet and spiritual way.  After the rest of the program, Brian got up to bear his testimony.  I started to cry and when he paused I thought "this is the moment", but instead he scolded me for crying.  Guess what people?  It got to him ANYWAYS.  After all was said and done, the hugging and the lei and handshakes, Brian Max Schwenke Jr. shed some tears like a true man.

Yes indeed.  Quite a successful 4 day weekend, including some alone time with sister-in-law.

Apparently I grab Brenn's arm when I want her attention... And she laughs with her hand in front of her face to show off her ring