This is Erin Foster. She is an actress and a writer. She specifically writes a "Single's Girl Guide" each week on HelloGiggles.com. One time I emailed her and she wrote me back. It was totally awesome. I one day hope to be similar to Erin. Except for her choice in men. So bad, she really shouldn't be with such a jerk.
Ryan. I don't care if you are cuter than puppies. Don't turn the radio up on a lady when she is talkin.
Since I moved in to an apartment sans 6 siblings and 2 parents, I've felt pretty darn grown up. Nobody says anything when I stay up till 3 in the morning reading. I don't make complete meals. Sometimes I eat a microwaved potato for lunch, or microwaved popcorn for dinner, or microwaved green beans for breakfast.
But the best thing about living in an apartment with no parentals and a room to myself? Cleaning is now optional.
It stays fairly clean for the most part, but I never put my make up away and shoes end up wherever my feet desire to take them off. Well and there is always books on every piece of furniture I have, sprawled with no dignity and not picked up until I fancy reading it again.
So I had no choice but to ignore my room. It started off as reasonable idea, after I watch the movie Paranormal Activity 3 and ghosts began to hide under my bed and in my closet and under my robe hanging up at the foot of my bed. I took action by filling up empty spaces with clothes and random objects. Obviously the ghosts no longer had somewhere to hide so they had to leave and haunt someone else. It was a genius move. But then, with each day passing I ignored random clothes and lotions and toys ( i do have some toys in my room). In such a small room it was no big deal because I could find something that was lost in like 5 minutes. There was no downside to my monumentally messy room.
Alas, fate intervened the moment November was done sucking my soul. It's december! So I woke up determined to clean this room. And I decided to do laundry first and clean as clothes washed. But you can't get away with having a room this messy and have zero consequences. In order to get back into my room at all times I must have my keys because the door locks by itself. And I woke up this morning to find my keys have officially given up on being mine. They were on my bed by my feet last night when I fell asleep. Now, they are gone! I have cleaned my room, there is not one stray thing laying on my floor. I looked under, around and all over my bed. Gone. With the wind. Which reminds, me its been far too long since I watched that movie.
As irony would have it, I searched up and down, high and low, had a tiny pity party and cried for a split second. And I looked at my laundry basket in despair because I needed to leave my room and get this laundry done! I tell you what people, it was a crazy idea when I looked at my basket. But I had left my laundry at the edge of my bed... and so i sifted through my dirty shirts with mustard stains and I'll be darned if my keys were not just laying on top of an old towel. Sneaky sneaky irony.
I went shooting. I shot beer bottles with a 22 something and a cricket (?) and a pistol. My ears were basically bleeding because apparently you are supposed to wear protective ear gear. But I didn't know that!
Then I rode a horse. I'm not a horse person. They are big, much bigger then me. And its like you are supposed to tell them where to go and you're on their back, kicking them to go faster. All I'm saying is that if I was being ridden, I would just revolt one day and trample my rider. I would live my life as a free horse. So there is a trust issue for me. They will just get sick of people telling them what to do and it will be when I am clutching the rope trying not to fall when they do that. Because they can smell fear (or is that another animal?) Anyways, I tried to be a horse whisperer. By literally whispering to my horse. Sweet-nothings, complimenting her mane and her stride, telling her she can do whatever she wants, I won't be the boss of her. We aren't exactly friends but I also came out alive so don't go scoffing at my method.
Of course my grandmother and grandfather are excellent cooks. So is aunt jennifer and my three uncles. Oh cousins. Amusing and loud the weekend was full of memories being made and a perfectly perfect thanksgiving. And I'm thankful for that. Also the Cal bears won against ASU.
I know. It's been rough. But I've come back and decided to make a raging comeback...
So I started the week off with an embarrassing thing. It was my facebook status. Did you know that you can personalize a status so that certain people can't find it? Just found that out. Not that I really have anything to hide but it's terrible that I can't just let people know that I say hilariously embarrassing things every other day. The moral of the story is, if you have something slightly inappropriate to say, block your mother and grandmother. They are always ruining my slightly inappropriate status'.:
wore a CAL sweater to the gym today with red shorts. A guy commented on my disloyalty to Utah. I pointed out my shorts are red like utah colors, then said "and my bottom half is the most important part anyways". So please, somebody lock me up and throw away the key because I say the worst things unintentionally*
It wasn't said to be dirty. The point is, I had no idea what I was saying and the moment it came out of my lips I wanted to eat the words back up and then stuff them deep down and never say anything remotely similar again. But I'm flawed, my forehead is breaking out (it's like hello puberty this should have happened 5 years ago. I'm twenty!) and sometimes I scratch my nail polish off like a meth addict scratches themselves when then need more crack. (Are they the same drug? I've never known).
*disclaimer: The thought was not dirty. It was this very odd moment of maternal instinct. I'm not sure why it was the thought that popped into my head but the idea that the bottom area is in charge of making babies and therefore life was for some reason my first thought when I was talking about my shorts. I felt the need to point out to this male that I can carry babies and he can't.
Anyways, so all this weird stuff happened Monday and Tuesday. Kaulin was in the same building as a shooter and I sort of threw a hissy fit when I found out. Make no mistake, I'm the type of person that if anything had happened to him, I would hatch a very extensive "Count of Monte Cristo" like plot and seek out revenge. That shooter would have a knife in his throat after I have finished my plan. Sorry. I watch Dexter sometimes.
It got me thinking, life. It's crazy. So I thought of some oddly deep thoughts about life:
I am not only trusted with a human life, but it’s MY human life. It is arguably the most important human life of all and I am in charge of not killing it? How am I in charge of KEEPING MYSELF ALIVE? Can’t I appoint someone to do this for me? Also, because the topic of "how important the bottom half of me is" was vaguely in my mind I have to point out- I can’t believe I’m just allowed to walk around with these ovaries and a functioning uterus. Probably. Probably functioning. I mean one day, I will be in charge of making a baby. YIKES. Also, gross. Rest assured, this is a long time off.
To send off I thought I should let you all enjoy my lovely text messages from my gal pal Karamea (who is currently really into Korean soap operas) : Kara: "Korean insults are so great! They always talk about killing each other on these dramas haha" Me: "Whaa?? I do that all the time!!! My go to is "imma stab you in the neck with a steak knife' I like to think I could do it too" Kara: "Hahaha i need to incorporate that in my life!" Me: "I mean a guy won't exactly ask you for a second date sometimes... but that might be the point" Kara: "Hahaha yah they always say that to their bf or gfs.Oh yeah, this weekend my mum went to the jewelry shop to get her ring cleaned and in the meantime I tried on wedding rings hahaha" Me: "Oh man I always glance over in a mall or department store hoping ill find the perfect ring. But its like finding my perfect man. It's probably gonna take a while and a lot more effort.".... right after I sent that one I wrote: "Wow did I really just do that? I am so freakin good at metaphors i shock myself sometimes!" Kara: "Hahaha that is so brilliant. Come back to me!"
We laugh a lot. We then proceeded to talk about missions and moving to London and Korea. Oh also, best plan ever: Kara marries a Korean prince, I marry the eligible Prince of England and we get together every week and have fabulous parties and be fabulous princesses. It's our life goal right now. Gonna make it happen!
I'm not gonna pretend this week was any better then last week.
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. I read that on a can of lemonade once. I think it applies to life.
So when faced with Halloween and no costume, I took a leaf out of Ron Swanson's book. I have now, one Halloween Costume. It's my costume. My Halloween Costume. No more brainstorming, getting cute, trying to find a non-slutty outfit. Designated Halloween Costume: Rosie the Riveter.
This is from last year. I didn't even bother taking pictures this year. It was a lame dance. I looked awesome. Take my word for it.
School was lame. Funny how that happens.
So I got invited to something, to be honest the story only works if you are also in the dark about it. David texts me and invited me "somewhere". So I put on a flannel shirt and smokey eye my eyes... going for a sexy farm-girl look. I'm always shooting for random looks. Then we get to another girls house and David is snooping around like he does since he has epic ADD, and she is on the phone and reminds everyone to bring their ID. Ah ha! David was unaware that this place needed ID, even though he knew it was a bar (just so everyone knows, it was just to hang out, no alcoholic drinking was going to be involved. *I assume.)
*You know what they say when you assume though.... Maybe Google it, because I'm not entirely confident I have the phrase right.
I never felt so unwanted. False, I've felt a lot more unwanted but let's not talk about my deep-seated insecurities when I have a funny punch-line waiting... So David has to drive me home and I started to wonder: since when did I get so YOUNG?? Answer: the day I came out of my mother. Gross. But you laughed so it was worth it.
Here comes Saturday... Full Blown snow. Not the lame, rainy, hail-y, cold but icy snow. Snow on my poor, frost-bitten truck and I do not intend on going outside. I'm not emotionally ready for a snow day.
So I do homework, read, clean, take a shower and walk around my apartment in my robe. I wear my robe about 90% of the time that I am home. My robe or my Cheetos pajamas. And I have busy roommates so it's very rarely a problem. Well today, unaware that my roommate was home, I walked out to get some more water... in my big-blue-made-for-men robe.
Let's just say I am glad I am not in a "New Girl" (great show, you should check it out) situation. Cuz if it had been boy roommates, I would have been super embarrassed. As it was, I accepted the confused look I got and instead distracted my roommate with my witty banter, which can get me out of literally anything. Besides a snow day. I'm mostly sure.
Never underestimate me. I'm complex, like a fine Italian wine or maybe a Chinese finger trap.
Also: No-Shave November. So excited. Women can participate too right?
The "black Friday of October" is what I am calling it. A Friday that will go down in infamy as a completely miserable day of disgusting and rude Karma. Now Brenn and I have firmly established that Karma is indeed a bad word that starts with "B" and rhymes with witch. Karma was the fat girl in school who grew up to rule the universe in consequences, and sometimes she takes out her anger of high school outcasted-ness on those of us just trying to make it to the weekend.
So I wake up and Karma is not on my side. I yawn and crack the side of my lip open causing extreme pain. Then I bite into an apple and the roof of my mouth has been magically cut, so, um ouch! Then I check my email and hey, my professor wrote me back about my thesis statement I sent in yesterday. Oh, it says he doesn't like it, rewrite it and clarify also come see him before class to discuss it further. Ugh so I take out my massive Norton Anthology of Theory and Criticism, wipe away angry tears* and try to write a clear thesis about Aristotle's view on tragedy as representation of humanity and why we enjoy tragedy.
*Dramatization, did not actually occur
I type it out and email it to myself so I can go print it off downstairs in the computer lab. Walk downstairs and the computer lab is closed! It's never closed. Something was wrong with today. So I wait at the shuttle stop and oh my lanta, it took 10 minutes and I was going to be late meeting my professor if I did not get a move on. So I decide to walk instead, guaranteeing an extra 10 minutes but I can't wait any longer for the shuttle. I can print my thesis out at the computer lab in the library, next to the professors office but I will still be late. I am never late for almost anything! Today was kind of messed up.
As I'm walking down the path I decide, hey I can just write out my thesis as I'm walking to his office. So I rummage through my bag for a pen. And curse words galore came out of my filthy mouth when I realized I had no pen or pencil. I always have a pen or pencil. Which means I do, in fact need to go to the computer lab and there was zero chance of making it on-time to see my professor, I would just have to see him after class. So I click "print" on the computer when I finally get that thesis out, text a friend whom is in a near-by class for a pencil and walk to the printer to get my single sheet of paper.
The top line is cut-off.
I have to go back, log back on to the computer, re-find my email, re-copy and paste it, re press print and make sure it's down the page. Also my mouth was filthy again, muttering terrible, shameful words. Finally it is printed, of course finding the friend who was giving me a pencil was a scavenger hunt, and get to class huffing and puffing.
I write out a page of notes, look over my thesis that I was going to give to the professor. It was the wrong thesis. I had emailed myself the wrong thesis. Very dramatically I crumpled up my paper and threw it in my bag, then wrote out the thesis that made minimal sense out on regular paper. After class the professor and I walk to his office and he is asking me about Aristotle and what he meant and how catharsis works and that "tragic flaw" is not a correct term. I keep thinking to myself "Wow, what is the female equivalent of emasculation, cause that is what is happening right now." I lost all dignity on that walk of shame to his office. I had no idea what Aristotle was trying to say. I thought I did, my professor told me to read in between the lines. It was hard enough reading the lines! I walked away feeling femasculated.
So it's 12 'o clock and my day has been terrible. It was like a Monday, but it was Friday, I should have been excited. I just wanted to lock myself up in my room. A few hours later, I decided to suck it up and head to Target, retail therapy always made me feel better. So I drive extremely carefully because today would be the one day I get in an accident. Whew, I get to Target with no scratches and find my stuff fairly easily and put my basketful of goodies on the checkout belt. It's all loaded and I look through my bag and LAUGH. Because guess what people? No wallet.
The check-out girl (who has an auburn afro and is twilight pale) tells me, no problem she's just gonna keep the receipt and come back to her when I get my wallet. Target is over 15 minutes away from my apartment. Well, what the heck, I don't have anything to do for the next few hours anyways. I drive home and right before I get to my street, realize rush hour traffic is beginning. I give up on today.
I didn't go back to Target, I made myself a salad and decided to watch Grey's Anatomy season 2. I had a surprise in my salad though. Almost put it in my mouth:
It was like a freakin lady bug. I mean I never get skirmish with bugs, but it would have crunched! I like Lion King and it's cute when they eat grub, but this was crossing the line!
What am I supposed to do when my roommate has an adorable guy over and they are hanging out in the living room? Do I supervise? No, that's too hindering for her romantic life. MMM I'm considering just being quiet and pretending I'm asleep and if she makes any protests I will charge out of the room and punch him straight in the face and then drag his nasty body out of my room. Nooo fine I will let her get some. Wait is that... yes, yes indeed, my tiny blonde baby roommate is getting some. Sorry I'm creepin but this walls are thin and unless I make a special effort to put on my ipod I can't exactly ignore the situation! Oh they are giggling, it's going well. (Side note: getting some just means so smooching, necking, kissing, pecking. Nothing over PG rated I promise, thats why they are doing it in the living room. I assume.)
Anyhoo, this week has been weird. Like weird enough that I started saying "anyhoo" when I was feeling awkward around other people which has been frequent. Just random people suddenly being very open to me when I wasn't expecting it. And it's not like I'm a fountain of knowledge, as you would well know if you read this blog. So I just sit there and listen to problems and spit out something like "geez louise" and "shut the front door!" if I'm surprised. Then I digest and say "anyhoo" and talk about how I need to shave my legs but just don't. Like I said, weird vibe of the week.
Anyhoo. I wrote what I like to think is my best piece of writing in my entire life so far (I mean I wrote some really great stories and plays when I was younger*) for those of you interesting in Gossip Girl.
Does it feel like I spend a lot of time being in Berkeley and not so much in Utah? That's how I feel. I think I kind of repress the idea of being in Salt Lake City and instead go to California to hang out with siblings and sister-in-laws and schewenkes. So why don't I transfer there??! Answer: That would be too much work. And also it would take the fun out of my fun trips to Berkeley.
Since I spent my whole summer with my brothers in Berkeley it always kinda feels like I'm going home when I go see them. Brenn forces me to watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians and the next thing I know I am genuinely upset about Kim wanting to change her name and not telling Kris about it. Rude. And everyone is fighting about the Apples to Apples game where Brenn reads my mind so we pick each other’s on accident but Kaulin and Brian pick each other's on purpose. Cheaters. And we lose the Cal vs. USC game. Lame. And we go to a pumpkin patch but can't play on the jumpy moon bounce thing (I should look up the proper name but I won't. Dignity and stuff).
So it's not like it was an amazing time. We didn't do anything ground breaking, or party so hard I lost a shoe. But there were bits and pieces that put together made for a fun family reunion time:
-Kardashian wedding. Big hit for the household.
- Brenn has a dog named Wilbur and everyone except Brenn communally hates him. Fortunately he doesn't understand when Kaulin, Kameron and I call him stupid and ugly, so we are all still friends. Ignorance is bliss I suppose.
- Kaulin and Brenn singing "Glamorous" by Fergie. Brenn gets upset because Kaulin won't let her sing the chorus. It's truly adorable and frustrating.
- They kiss, A LOT. Gross.
-Kam is still under the impression that he can use big words out of context and nobody notices. I notice. -He and Brian sure do have a lot of PDA. And a really, really messy room. Ahhh, way to not break the stereotype of gross college roommates.
-Walk out of the movie 50/50, eyes are puffy from crying. Brian "Wow, you look ugly when you cry". He says he was joking but the way he delivered it... felt personal.
- Kaulin actually gets really upset with me when I don't win Mario Kart playing by myself. I do too, just not as much as he does. But I usually win.
- Walking down the street in San Fran after the football game and everyone is wasted outside the bars as we walk past. Nick "I mean what else is gonna sell better then liquor after a football game? ... Women?" Yes. Valid point. Good business plan
- Brenn has a thing for baby goats and baby pigs. There was a petting zoo at the pumpkin patch and she was playing with the baby pig so much the little kids would look at her and walk towards the pig then walk away. We all have our weakness though don't we.
- Quoting Parks and Rec and the Honeybadger like we get paid each time we do. "Thanks stupid"... "Treat yo self!"
Aww cute... Wait is that the dog being squashed by Brian?!? Yes.
I think that made me cry because I associated it with absolutely no one.
Don't fret I have something to cheer you up now:
You really have to watch the rest of her skits on SNL though. Golden. Fantastic. Cream of the crop. ( I am not exaggerating, these words are just popping into my head as I watch the video. Sometimes my brain seconds as a thesaurus to make up for lacking in math skills.) Stupendous. Peer-less.
Legen.... wait for it.... dary!*
But Melissa McCarthy was stealin my heart and makin me laugh long before SNL ... on my tippy top favorite show (and I retract my previous claim that 30 Rock is my favorite because I apparently had amnesia when I wrote that and forgot that Gilmore Girls is the only show I could watch over and over and over and over and over without getting sick of it. And I can prove it because I do it almost every single day.)
*I give you mad props if you caught that reference.
Here is the sitch. I love television. There are some really crappy shows out there and there are some fabulous ones. SO when I get an opportunity to write about a show I love I take it. Like the caption contest above. Or the other caption contest I won a few months back. Now out of context both may seem odd, crass, maybe even stupid. But if you watch the shows you have to agree, I basically nailed it.
So on the eve of receiving this wonderous news that I won a caption contest, I was also told that I will now be a part-time tv blogger for http://www.gossip-girl-episodes.com/ and http://www.greys-anatomy-episodes.com/ I get to dish my opinions about Gossip Girl and Grey's Anatomy into cyber space! On a really (not really) legit blog about television. Shootin for the stars people.
The point is that I get to write, something to put on a resume because this blog does not count. So in a few weeks, if you're bored and you enjoy GG or GA check out my writing skillzz.
So I tricked myself into eating eggs this week. It gives me hope to do this, for my future family's sake. If I can scramble some eggs into fried rice then I can honestly tell my children that they must also eat eggs. This is assuming that they get my genes and hate the smell, taste and texture of eggs.
I got really sick on Wednesday, I actually blacked out in the middle of class and I'm sure I looked comical when my head slammed down on my desk. Who doesn't appreciate a good laugh now and then? I do. I giggled when I came around because I had about 5 people that I didn't know hovering around me. "Pleaseee don't call the hospital, I just forgot to eat this morning" Though I'm not sure I would have minded if they sent firefighters in to carry me out. In hindsight, bad decision. ALWAYS play damsel in distress if it means being carried out by a fireman. Learned that one from Modern Family.
So I wonder if this is a normal thing or just a fluke, but you would assume when you go to the doctors that people that work there would be sympathetic. I mean if I'm at the doctors, obviously I have some sort of sickness or injury and I'm not at my best. But one of the ladies at the counter told me very condesendinly that I was 15 minutes late. To which i replied "Oh ya well I threw up as I was walking out the door so... ya know". That seemed to shut her up.
Communal laundry rooms can be awkward, like when you get on the elevator and suddenly the most important thing in the world is what level your on at that exact moment. Well laundry rooms are more awkward, because you can ignore each other but you can't ignore the fact that the girl is pulling out grandma panties and a training bra even though we are in college and how is that even physically possible? Anyways, someone eased the tension this past laundry trip. I take half credit because if I did not have the ensemble I had on this conversation never would have taken place: Guy: Watermelon pajamas AND watermelon painted toes?
Me (thinking to myself this guy is way to observative and I really should not wear my pjs anywhere but my room) Um ya Guy: I assume you like watermelons Me: Actually no, not my favorite fruit but they sure are cute! Guy: Good point Me: ( a tad late on this but...) you know what they say about assuming Guy laughs I walk out not sure if I am pleased or just feeling awkward
And sometimes I just make mistakes, and I'm not sure if it's okay or not. Like when I took my pain medication and then said my prayers and was a little loopy. Now tell me straight up, is it blasphemy to say this: "and thank you for the drugs i've been given"....... "wow sorry" ??? Awaiting my punishment for that one
Hilarious facebook mistakes I wanted to pick just one from this website but honestly... they were all pretty amazing
Unfortunately I'm not in contact with any of the guys that made fun of me when I was little. Probably cause I beat them all up
That title, stolen from my favorite show of all time (bold claim but you'll understand in a moment), 30 Rock. Because Tina Fey is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Anyways, back to the title, used in a mass text to close friends, was how I described the feeling of having a Red Bull first thing in the morning. Hey, those Red Bull girls were driving by the bus stop at 8 in the morning and asked if we wanted some. First of all, I had to question why I didn't have that job. Then two hours later realized that would be detrimental to my health based on my legs pumping up in down for 6 hours of classes, along with what I can only assume were symptoms of ADD: short attention span, thinking of several different things at one time and a distinct feeling that my heart was trying to hug my brain because it was just pumping really loudly like it needed extra attention.
How I feel when I drink Red Bull
However, we can't stop at just Red Bull for the reason for this title. I feel like it's my thesis statement for this past week. Oh man I have been writing so many different papers every week for school everything is related to english classes in life. Like one big metaphor. AAHHH stopping now.
So I got to go to Northern California again because I just can't get enough of that place I guess. HA, ok it's not terrible but I went for the sake of my brother's first football game of the season and even though Kaulin had been hurt he looked sooo good in his uniform out on that field. And my brother Kameron, HE GOT TO PLAY AND HE HIT A GUY REALLY HARD AND GOT A FOUL FOR IT I DON'T UNDERSTAND FOOTBALL BUT DID YOU SEE IT?!! So aahhhmazing.
How to top off this weekend of football and seeing my family who of course just randomly showed up, it's how my family rolls and also seeing my lovely sister-in-law? Well, this one will throw you for a loop. Because instead of partying hard core like I always do (my sarcasm is off the hook right now), I got to go to an amazing fellas baptism Monday night. This fella I speak of is of course, Brian Schwenke, who usually only goes by his last name mostly cause it's super duper fun to say. He plays for the Cal Bears as well and is the biggest, baddest and sweetest guy out on the field. (Careful though, his dry sarcasm bites).
numero 57... That guy he is blocking is not going anywhere
Now my brother Kameron texted me about 3 days before the baptism to tell me I am giving one of the talks... on baptism. This is where we now tie in the heart hugging the brain thesis statement. I haven't spoken to a crowd in this type of setting for over 2 years. I mean I get a little flustered with friends if I start to tell a story and realize more then 4 people are looking at me. Now the fate of Schwenke's baptism mood is rested on me. Well at least that's what I convinced myself of.
oh false, I did make a quick announcement at the wedding to a large crowd but I'm positive I stuttered and stared at the light straight ahead of me
The night before we had a pre-birthday party for Kaulin since his birthday was the week after we left. Princess-themed.
Brenn of course was lovely and forced us all to say 3 things we love about Kaulin which added up to 24 things, because he is turning 24. Well of course Schwenke was a part of it and as everyone cried shamelessly, Brian held strong and informed us that he has not cried in about 8 years. He was a tough cookie to crack. (By the way, this information is foreshadowing). OH MY GOSH it's like literary tourettes!
Well, Monday night comes along, I put on my mom's best skirt and her new sweater, do some breathing exercises and think of anything besides the talk I have to give. Not the best idea, I really should have practiced it. Any how, we get to the church house, everyone sits down and we start to have a lovely opening. Then the big moment comes. No, not the actual baptism but my talk. Boy, oh boy was I nervous. It went pretty well though. I mustered up a serious voice with only a slight tremble. And I said what I needed to say, and sat down sweating bullets with my face on fire.
The big moment came and Schwenke got in that font with Kameron, and they both did it like they were rock stars. But you know, in a really calm, sweet and spiritual way. After the rest of the program, Brian got up to bear his testimony. I started to cry and when he paused I thought "this is the moment", but instead he scolded me for crying. Guess what people? It got to him ANYWAYS. After all was said and done, the hugging and the lei and handshakes, Brian Max Schwenke Jr. shed some tears like a true man.
Yes indeed. Quite a successful 4 day weekend, including some alone time with sister-in-law.
Apparently I grab Brenn's arm when I want her attention... And she laughs with her hand in front of her face to show off her ring
To have and to hold. Oh to fallinlove. Romeo and Juliet. Harry and Sally. Jack and Rose. Johnny and June. Brenn and Kaulin. Cue the romantic music. It doesn't matter specifically. In fact, its probably better for you to pick your own favorite song and turn it on. Right now. The days leading up to the wedding? Not my finest. Stressed, upset, cranky. I vaugely remember a funny moment. When I was sitting in rush hour traffic after picking up flowers and cake (together it was like freakin Mission Impossible 4), I turned on Beyonce's new song, Best Thing I Never Had. All I could think was, "This song was probably made to help a woman get through a tough break-up. But its getting me through this tough traffic." In hindsight, it's not even that funny. But it got me to smile. So I didn't drive off a cliff. But then the morning came. And Brenn was up, fidgety and looking a little crazy-eyed (not normal B behavior). She got her hair did. Then the make-up. Then the dress. And OH MY LANTA. That girl cleans up realll nice. Did I cry when she walked out of my room in all her glory? Yes. But I won't answer that, its far too personal of a question.
Kaulin came around the corner, all suited up and spiffy. And yes, he gave me a thumbs up when he saw his blushing bride. (She blushes a lot by nature.) See, I was on the excursion when Brenn went dress shopping months ago. So when we saw her in this dress, which made her look like she had a nice, round booty, I knew that is all my oldest brother could ask for on his wedding day. He very much approved. Don't I know him so well? For a quick moment, I will be sentimental. Seeing my oldest brother marry one of my best friends in the Laie temple. That was a life moment to me. I didn't cry at the time. But rest assured I did eventually. Sometimes... it makes the hard parts of life worth living. That is what that day was for me. Not just a memory, but a good, solid remembrance of what life has to offer us. It's not even about the romance though. It's about seeing two people who have worked hard on their relationship. They deserve that day. Aaand I'm back. Whew... cried a little bit writing that. If it hasn't been mentioned, I can cry a lot. It doesn't seem too obvious but its something I do.
I looked fabulous in my bridesmaids dress.
I know what your thinking. It wasn't my best hair day.
From 6 am till 11 pm I was going. Coordinate, organize, be charming (that one was pretty effortless), and most of all make sure everyone was having a grand old time. I'm totally kidding, I helped but not a lot, it was mostly my mom and her friends and my grandmother and aunt. I mostly just smiled and winked at the camera all day. BUT I was awake at 6 and I didn't go to sleep till 12 so I was pretty exhausted. It's the price you pay to have a goooorgeous new sister-in-law.
