An apple a day will keep anyone away if you throw it hard enough

This was my dream last night:

Line for line.  The only difference was that Tom Hanks kept yelling "NOT A BLOODY DRAGON RINGO!" over and over instead of whatever lines he actually had.  

On the subjects of dreams, there is one situation that is currently affecting me everyday and therefore must be addressed.  Brenn.  Kaulin's fiancee, one of my favorite people of all time.  We are sharing a bed this summer before the wedding while I stay in Berkeley.  This woman has a massively insane subconscious apparently.  She sleep talks and its happened a few times where I have a conversation with her while she is asleep.  I, who love to be entertained anytime of the 24 hours of a day, usually smile when she starts yelling nonsense at 1 in the morning.  She warned me before we started cuddling in a queen sized bed that she has had night terrors.  Excuse me for thinking that only people like Kirk on Gilmore Girls had that.  That dude is crazy.  Brenn isn't crazy, so she is just exaggerating.

Except she's not.  On the night before my midterm (thank you fate), I am trying hard to fall asleep early so I can be fully focused in the morning.  Brenn's unconscious mind has other ideas.  I wake up to complete darkness and Brenn, bolting upright, quietly saying "what? what? no, no, no."  I turn over

to look at her, of course knowing that we are in no immediate danger.  She is staring at the corner of the room closest to her  side of the bed and repeating "what? what? what?" in a very calm, serene way.  Her trance like-state actually instantly creeps me out.  I look over to the corner, expecting to see a ghost, or a zombie, or Christian Bale with a knife.  Nope, nothing. (although I would be pretty excited if Christian Bale was there, knife-less of course).

I've surveyed the scene, and just as I reach out to wake Brenn up she cat-like bounds away from the corner, and just about to fall off the bed.  My hero instincts kick in and I grab her arm and she looks up and realizes I'm there.  But this sweetheart is still not in fact awake.  She stares at me and I try to calm her down, "shhh Brenn, shhhh".  What I wanted to say was "Shut UP Brenn, ya freak, I have my midterm tomorrow!"  As Brenn has pointed out before, my excessive tiredness when it's late at night actually cuts away from my rudeness and I'm very sweet.  So I coax her into laying back down, she's no longer fully asleep but she is obviously still delusional.  Whatevs, I love the girl.

Two seconds after laying down she whispers "when did that happen?"  What a cute nut, she is already trying to have a conversation with me about what happened only moments before.

The moral of the story is: I love Brenn Mcwhorter, she is an amusing bed partner.  But I will gladly go back to hearing about her screaming at a spider on a wall that is the size of a cowboy hat, rather than waking up at 2 in the morning to witness it.  Just so you all know how funny my brother's fiancee is.