The first step is admitting to Houston that you have a problem

I need a "Whatever just leave me alone" sign. Until I find one, I'll just have to use my face.

You don't know what you have until it's gone.  That's how I'm feeling right now.  About my sister-in-law, my friend Karamea, the soda that I gave up to be healthy and such, my ability to do math in my head, David's phone that he lost so now I can't call or text him about coming over for ice cream whenever I want, my mom, my baby siblings who haven't been babies for a few years now, my perfectly red shade nail polish that hasn't been seen in weeks, and the mints that I keep next to my bed that I finished eating last night.  All gone.  Or lost, or just not around me right now.

I went to the DMV twice this week.  Actually 3 times.  The first time, it took me an hour to find the actual building, then of course, it was closed.  Hello Karma, we meet again.

Then I went the next day, to another DMV, and it really wasn't too bad.  Except the lady was really rude and made frowny eyebrows at me.  Which I took with a grain of salt since frowny eyebrows are one of my specialties anyways.  We were sort of soul sisters, in the sense that we understood that neither of us wanted to be here, talking to each other and making frowny eyebrows at each other.  Alas, we completed the task of registering my car to Utah.  I got the license plates with arches in the background.  Highlight of my day.

Then I went to the dentist and finished my root canal.  UGH!  Root canal, more like Pollute Morale.  But now I have what I call a "Zombie Tooth" in my mouth, and it's not so bad, trying to get comfortable and settled.  

Speaking of settling, how is Ann?

I went to my baby neice's first birthday party in Orem, my tongan family threw it, so of course it was epic, there was a bouncy house inside the church building.  And so MUCH CANDY. 

 

Raise of hands who approve this as a great wedding centerpiece idea?

 Baby Victoria!  Look at this kid.  SO CHUBBY! SO CUTE! SO STYLISH!

I'm off to make some recipes from Pinterest.  Because I have been making the same foods for months now.  Chicken salad, wheat pasta with Prego, canned soup, candy, and nachos.  Figured I should mix it up a little bit.  I promise you guys will never find a recipe on this blog.  Unless it's a recipe for disaster.  Boom

Don't trust a bro

Don't touch my hair.  I will cut you.

So Karamea

We talk almost everyday

Via texting and facebook

We have been discussing which men sound most like Liam Neeson if he was to sing.  

You know what? Never mind, I'll just take some of the gems we discuss and post a few on here now:

• ps, i met an rm who said his goal this semester is to not date or kiss a girl.
• WHAT A WEIRDO RIGHT?
  
  
  • [this guy's] top 3 criteria is 3 Fs: feet, face, and faith.
  • yikesssss. a bit concerned that feet are a priority
    
    
    i also stayed up until 10pm watching the muppets of oz instead of doing homework. my life is so glamorous!!! (and yes, i used fergie's song to help me spell that).
    • 
      
    • • • • My friend's status: Satan can just go to Hell. Oh wait...
        • 
          
        • 
          

          • WHAT THE SWEAR WORD? are you serious?!
            
            
             she said she was too bad of a girl for him, he didn't deserve her. which is totally my line.
            
            

• • Kelsea: hahaha oh my gosh, you need an ad around byuh with the picture of a jacket and a caption "PLEASE take me on a date, i will get $10 and then I can buy this jacket!" I bet people in provo do that stuff all the time
• 
  

  • Kara: HAHAHAH
  • oh my heck. that just might do it.
• 
  

  • Kelsea: some cool guy will think you're so clever. and then he will end up being charming and you'll marry him and keep the ad as a memory in your journal
• 
  

  • Kara: hahah you put too much confidence in me.
  • but wouldnt that be amazing?
  • like nicholas sparks-amazing?
    
    
    
    
    and a personal favorite: "Some SCUMBAG posted the ending to this week's Glee episode on facebook already"
    
    Who even say's scumbag anymore?  It's so fabulous
    
    
    
    
    
    And she sends me video's like this all day:
    
    
    Warning: It's super creepy, do not watch if you are prone to nightmares about stalking cats.  Like Moi
    
    

    
    

pouting, sulking, sighing, mumbling, rolling my eyes... its how i detox

"Coke Please!" "Is Pepsi ok?" "Is Monopoly money ok?"

I'm like an elephant, OK? If I walk into a room, it's like OK, she's in there

So, Kendall and I go to BYU campus, and everyone there is smiling and the cute guys wave at us when we stop for them to cross the road.  And the little sister is in amazement.  Did I know people could be so nice??  So I try to justify it.

"See, here is the thing, those guys are waving at you cuz you're cute and they think to themselves 'hey, that girl in that car could be my eternal companion, I should smile at her.'  And that is how they trick you into marrying them!"

Cynical, no?

Because people at the U don't smile and wave at you when you stop in the street for them.

So, the question is, do I prefer nicer people that wave to me, or the rude people who ignore my kind gesture and don't realize that I am more than capable of running them over and feeling zero remorse?  (I'd probably get arrested but just bare with me on this one)

When the little sister and I met up with father's old friend, he asked how we liked the U and the little sister confessed, the people are nicer here at BYU campus than at the U campus.  We had talked about transferring to BYU and he looked at me and asked why I didn't like BYU more than the U. 

"Because, I guess I like my people rougher.   I like the ones that don't wave at me"

Because sometimes, I am a cold hearted woman.

And I am totally cool with that

No, doctor, it’s not a cute pain, and this is no time for flirting.

FULL DISCLOSURE:  I wrote this post about 2 months ago, I don't remember why I never posted it but I'm feeling lazy and now I have a back-up in my "drafts" folder and these are all gems so I'm posting them later rather than never.  Enjoy.


I started off thinking I would write about facebook but that somehow turned into a rant about a guy and regrets and boy oh boy that was weird and you are so glad right now that I have spared you those few paragraphs.

Instead, I will tell you about my new grudge against Meg Ryan.  I first experienced Meg in Anastaia, her breathy voice is what I wanted to grow up and sound like.  Unbeknowist at the time, I thought she was just a voice actor.  Then a few years ago I watched In The Land of Women with Adam Brody.  And you know what?  She did really well in it.  She was emotional and raw and I really liked her twisted and confused character.  About 2 years ago I had the IMMENSE pleasure of seeing When Harry Met Sally.  I mean you hear about it and it sounds stupid.  And two friends who eventually realize they are in love? So dumb! And then the story unfolds before me and I LOVEEEd it.  Too much maybe... I finally let myself just love love stories instead of being ironic.

Last week when I was sick I travelled downtown to rent a movie from Blockbuster. I know right? Who does that anymore?  I was so proud that they were still going strong(ish) and I browsed a few sections before deciding on Kate & Leopold because the idea of a chivalrous 18th century man* coming to modern day was just the most brilliant idea (while I was drugged up). UGH sooo disappointing!  The plot line was just all over the place, the romance part was way too short, and in the end Meg Ryan gives up her Vice President job to go back to the 18th century with a man she's known for less then a week! what?!  No, no, no.  She is gonna hate that she can't email anyone (cough cough Tom Hanks) and the fact that she can't wear those awful pantsuits she wore all throughout the movie.

*Hugh Jackman was almost too convincing.  The accent and the chivalry and the tallness.  I would totally consider going back to the 18th century with him.  But just for a little bit.

So, slightly unsatisfied I told Karamea that I was disappointed with Meg.  She told me basically to shut it and watch You've Got Mail.  So I return Kate & Leopold, and rent You've Got Mail and Sleepless In Seattle.  The guy at the register asked how old I was and when I said 20 he wanted to know why I was watching "these crappy 90s movies".  I said "Cuz Meg Ryan deserves some mad respect".

And why does this have to be the most depressing
tag line to a movie poster?  

I HATE that the blockbuster register guy was right.

What is this?  You've Got Mail, she ditches her boyfriend for Tom Hanks via somewhat slutty email corespondents.  And Tom Hanks is not dreamy enough for that kind of action! And then Sleepless In Seattle.  Were they going for an Oscar win on this?  Why is she yearning for a guy on the radio.  You don't know if he's even attractive, or even a good guy.  What if he's some homeless, toothless hobo who lives on the streets?  But Meg pines for Tom Hanks for an hour and a half and nobody is even around to see me roll my eyes every 5 seconds.  What a waste.  And then they meet and they are all awkward, and I bet Meg is like "shoot, like he's cute but I came all the way to New York for Tom Hanks?  I think I've done this before!"

Basically Nora Ephron is my least favorite writer at the moment and I'm upset that Tom Hanks was so popular with the ladies.  Because that is Hugh Jackman's job.  And Robert Downey Jr.  Whom I married in my dream last night. Again.

Have you ever made out with Ryan Gosling and suddenly you realize you're lying??

This is Erin Foster.  She is an actress and a writer. She specifically writes a "Single's Girl Guide"  each week on HelloGiggles.com.  One time I emailed her and she wrote me back.  It was totally awesome.  I one day hope to be similar to Erin.  Except for her choice in men.  So bad, she really shouldn't be with such a jerk.  

Ryan.  I don't care if you are cuter than puppies.  Don't turn the radio up on a lady when she is talkin.

Irony and a cleaning monster

Since I moved in to an apartment sans 6 siblings and 2 parents, I've felt pretty darn grown up.  Nobody says anything when I stay up till 3 in the morning reading.  I don't make complete meals.  Sometimes I eat a microwaved potato for lunch, or microwaved popcorn for dinner, or microwaved green beans for breakfast.

But the best thing about living in an apartment with no parentals and a room to myself?  Cleaning is now optional.

It stays fairly clean for the most part, but I never put my make up away and shoes end up wherever my feet desire to take them off.  Well and there is always books on every piece of furniture I have, sprawled with no dignity and not picked up until I fancy reading it again.

So I had no choice but to ignore my room.  It started off as reasonable idea, after I watch the movie Paranormal Activity 3 and ghosts began to hide under my bed and in my closet and under my robe hanging up at the foot of my bed.  I took action by filling up empty spaces with clothes and random objects.  Obviously the ghosts no longer had somewhere to hide so they had to leave and haunt someone else.  It was a genius move.  But then, with each day passing I ignored random clothes and lotions and toys ( i do have some toys in my room).  In such a small room it was no big deal because I could find something that was lost in like 5 minutes.  There was no downside to my monumentally messy room.

Alas, fate intervened the moment November was done sucking my soul.  It's december!  So I woke up determined to clean this room.  And  I decided to do laundry first and clean as clothes washed.  But you can't get away with having a room this messy and have zero consequences.  In order to get back into my room at all times I must have my keys because the door locks by itself.  And I woke up this morning to find my keys have officially given up on being mine.  They were on my bed by my feet last night when I fell asleep.  Now, they are gone!  I have cleaned my room, there is not one stray thing laying on my floor.  I looked under, around and all over my bed.  Gone.  With the wind.  Which reminds, me its been far too long since I watched that movie.

As irony would have it, I searched up and down, high and low, had a tiny pity party and cried for a split second.  And I looked at my laundry basket in despair because I needed to leave my room and get this laundry done!  I tell you what people, it was a crazy idea when I looked at my basket.  But I had left my laundry at the edge of my bed... and so i sifted through my dirty shirts with mustard stains and I'll be darned if my keys were not just laying on top of an old towel.  Sneaky sneaky irony.

And do the macarena...